So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
