We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You smell like stripper and shame
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
