I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
