I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize