Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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