Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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