I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
