: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
