I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
