Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
