i just google imaged poop.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
