My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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