my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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