...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
