Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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