Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize