i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
