I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
