That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
