Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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