Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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