I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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