In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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