IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
