dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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