What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
