i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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