I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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