suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
