Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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