Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
