You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
