2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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