so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
