you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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