Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
