You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
