Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
