hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
