You work out of a Hotel?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
