i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
