Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
