I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to align my fucking chakras
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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