He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
