whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
