Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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