A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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