So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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