yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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