That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
