i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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