Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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