He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
