she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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