I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
