Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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