I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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