Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
