I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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