My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
