Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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