At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
