You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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