just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
