I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
