I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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