She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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